Howard Hughes: The Husband of OCD
In 1947, businessman Howard Hughes went on a romantic date with Jane Greer. She was one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood. Hughes was not just anybody, my friend. He was one of the most famous American figures. A businessman who owns an airline company and also directs movies. This man's character was famous for being brilliant and weird. A movie named The Aviator was made based on his life and directed by the renowned Martin Scorsese. My point is that he is an important, successful figure.
"Wow, He did all that? What a genius! Now, what about that is weird?"
Let’s go back to the date, my friend. As Hughes was enjoying his date, he got up to go to the restroom. A minute goes by, then 2 minutes go by, then 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, an hour and a half! We waited for an hour and a half until he finally came back. And Jane asked him: "What took you so long?"
Hughes said that it all started when some ketchup got on his pants, so he went to the restroom, took it off, and washed it. After he washed it, he waited for it to dry and wore it again. He said that this didn’t take long. The real problem happened when he tried to leave. When he tried to leave, he couldn’t open the bathroom door. "Why, Was it stuck?" No, my friend. He literally couldn’t touch the doorknob. The man had a fear of germs, which prevented him from touching the bathroom doorknob that was previously touched by people after being in various positions. So, he had to wait for someone to come and open the bathroom door for him! Needless to say, she didn’t go out with him again.
This germophobia I’m telling you about could turn the life of someone like Hughes into a sad, disturbed life. To the point that nearing the end of his life in 1976, he locked himself in the hotel room he stayed at in an almost sanitized environment. He even used blackout curtains on the windows to prevent sunlight from coming in. The sunlight he considered to be a source of germs. And in order for his servants to give him his food, they had to excessively sanitize their hands.
Rumors at the time said that Hughes was an addict, or insane, or that he had syphilis, or dementia. But, the truth is that Hughes’ behavior that we talked about was most likely coming from a very different illness. One with no treatment at the time. We will learn that a treatment for it was discovered 10 years after Hughes’ death. An illness known as OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
OCD: When the Brain Gets Stuck
By analyzing that illness verbally, it has two problems. If you look at the name, it has the word "Obsessive," which implies an obsession or paranoia. It means a certain thought has intrusively and repetitively taken over, similarly to the fear of germs we talked about. "I’m too afraid to touch anything because I might catch a disease." Or fear of losing things, for example. "I keep everything to avoid losing them." Or symmetry OCD, where a person spends hours aligning the frame.
The persistence of that thought creates the second part of the illness, which is compulsion. It forces the patient to do a certain act to relieve that stress, so that when he does it, the obsessive thought hopefully leaves. So, these people might wash their hands 200 times. That’s an average number! Or they might adjust a picture frame for 2 hours, or drive back home 20 times to make sure the bathroom lights are off, or that the door is locked, or that the car is locked.
In his book Brain Lock, Jeffrey Schwartz defines OCD as the brain simply getting stuck on a certain thought. It can’t move on from it. And if it can’t find a solution for it, something bad will happen if you don’t do these compulsions. "Something is off. How does a brain get stuck? It isn’t a machine." Actually, your brain is a full machine! One that depends on the nerves and their circuits. And OCD is a neurological disorder. Not just being dramatic? Not really.
Simply put, one of its most probable causes is an error occurring in the neural circuit between what is known as the Orbitofrontal Cortex and another part, the Basal Ganglia. The activity in the orbitofrontal cortex increases when it sees something alarming, sending a signal to the basal ganglia. So, the basal ganglia does something to decrease that stress. And after the basal ganglia is done, it says to the orbitofrontal cortex: "We are done!" Supposedly, when the orbitofrontal cortex learns that the problem has been solved, its activity should decrease. However, in the case of OCD, this circuit, or communication between them, glitches. So, the orbitofrontal cortex remains at high levels of activity, as if the thing that annoyed it is still there.
These people continue to repeat the action that was supposed to reassure them. "Lights off, lights on." The problem itself might be solved and done! You have locked the car doors! The car is locked, dude! But, "No, I have been busy with work. Maybe I didn’t lock it well. Maybe after I locked it, I unlocked it. Maybe there’s something wrong with the car, and it unlocks when I lock it, and locks when I unlock it!" So, all these scenarios run through your mind, and you keep going back to the car to make sure that it’s locked.
OCD patients remain stuck in that loop, and despite probably knowing that these obsessions don’t make sense, they still can’t be convinced that if they don’t do the compulsions, nothing bad will happen. The more they respond to these thoughts, the stronger this loop gets inside their head! Also, the illness gets worse over time! To the point that it does indeed ruin peoples’ lives. They can’t live like that anymore. To leave the room, they had to turn the lights off tens and hundreds of times.
In one of the stories I heard, there was this guy who was obsessed with his fear of death. He never left his house, or had intimate relationships, or even had friends! Completely lonely! He was paranoid that, with a single touch, he would catch a disease and die. Or each time he went out, he might get hit by a car and die. He couldn’t communicate with his family. He couldn’t see them, talk to them, and hug them. With each interaction, he was scared of getting sick and dying. That person becomes a captive of his fear, a captive of his obsession with one idea.
Again, these people are ill. We can’t blame them and say: "They do this to themselves! They need to think logically!" That’s a bit foolish. This is a real illness that affects many people in society. And in some cases, like we said, could lead to their complete isolation from the world, like Hughes!
Of course, there are levels of OCD. And not everyone reaches that level of misery and inability to adapt. We see people like David Beckham, who talked in his Netflix documentary in 2023 about his struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. Beckham, like Hughes, is a successful, ambitious person. But, he was born in a more modern world. Nowadays, about 70% of OCD cases respond well to the first-line of therapy. And rather than one prescription, there’s now two, three, or more! Treatments can be through therapy, or medications, such as CBT. Or some people do a combination between therapy and medication.
Beckham, Hughes, and a large amount of people who have OCD are aware that their obsession doesn’t make sense, and they don’t feel happy doing the things I told you about. And because they are aware, they wish to get rid of that feeling. They know it interferes with their lives. And that helps them with their treatment.
The problem is: What if you are convinced that your obsession with cleanliness is not an illness? And it doesn’t interfere with your job, or life? But, actually, you are proud to be clean in a messy, dirty world. Here, you are not suffering from a neurological disorder, or OCD. You actually have a disorder in your whole personality, or what is known as a personality disorder.
Our personality is the glasses we view the world through. In that case, OCD isn’t an illness you are trying to treat, since you believe you are fine. You are convinced that the world is a mess, and you will fix it. In that case, hello and welcome, my friend, to the most common case among people with OCD: the OCPD.
Steve Jobs: The Perfectionist Who Redefined Technology
One of the people who is said to have OCPD is Steve Jobs! One day, he surprisingly sent a message to a guy named Vic Gundotra. He was one of the big managers in Google. He told him that there was an emergency. Of course, when Vic heard this, he started freaking out! He expected that a disaster had happened that would destroy their partnership. He said: "What if they removed Google Maps from iPhones?" After all that stress, he discovered that the dangerous disaster was that in the Google icon on iPhones, the yellow color of the second "o" was not the right shade and needed fixing. Says the guy with the bitten apple logo.
As Vic was telling that story, he says it inspired him to be a person who pays attention to details to be able to create a high-quality product. According to a BBC report titled What Made Steve Jobs Unique?, one of the most important reasons why iPhone, or Apple users are satisfied with Apple products is Apple's attention to detail. What Vic talked about and considered to be an inspiring event is actually Steve Jobs' personal life. As much as his life can be inspiring regarding the attention to detail, it was also exhausting for people around him.
One time, after a long day at work, Jobs' team finally succeeded in building the first-ever Mac model, and just like any other good employees, they couldn’t wait to show it to him. "Check this out, Boss. It will make your day." Jobs looked at it... and said: "What is this garbage?!" "What is it, Boss?" "The screws are not aligned at all!" The thing is, you can’t see these screws unless you actively look for them. It’s solely a design issue. It has nothing to do with the device's quality. But, for Jobs, this is an unacceptable chaos.
Jobs insisted that they break apart the computer and build it again where the screws are perfectly aligned. Actually, this task wasn’t simple at all. The team exhausted themselves for hours and broke the computer apart to solve something so irrelevant! Jobs' obsession with details reached the point of paying attention to punctuation marks in the company's documents. This obsession, my friend, haunted every detail of his life, starting from his products to his own home. To the point that he would not furnish his house because he couldn’t find furniture that suited his very high standards. "If I can’t have a Lamborghini, a bike is enough."
A study titled The Dark Side of Steve Jobs proposed a theoretical question: What if Jobs had to go through a formal assessment process, which is an assessment done by Fortune 500 companies before they hire any CEO? According to the study, they expected that based on Jobs' personality, he would show up to the assessment in messy clothes and arrogantly accuse the people assessing him of being dumb and that the company is shit. All that because Jobs hates authority, and he despises the idea of someone quizzing him on something that he believes he is better at than the person quizzing him.
According to the study, Jobs' unbearable psychological traits would overshadow his good traits and lead to his rejection. Many studies considered the reason for Jobs' success was him being mentally ill. This was also Tam Nguyen's opinion in a research titled Understanding Steve Jobs, which was based on Steve Jobs' biography published by Walter Isaacson during Steve Jobs' lifetime and with his approval. Tam broke Jobs' personality down into two disorders: The first one is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and the second is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, or OCPD.
Here, the letter "P" is very intentional. We are dealing with a disorder that affects the entire personality, which is the opposite of OCD, which is classified as an anxiety disorder. OCD patients believe that their obsessions make things blurry. OCD patients believe that their obsessions ruin the way they see the world. But, OCPD patients, if we can sum them up with one sentence, are people trying to force their obsessions exactly how they see them onto the world.
According to statistics, OCPD is not a rare disorder. It affects 2-8% of people. So, it sometimes could affect one out of every twelve people. And men suffer from it more than women! "Really? So, women aren’t the picky paranoid ones, we are?" the short answer is YES.
We clearly notice that case in people who are more successful, such as CEOs, important politicians, and the best athletes in the world. This disorder could be the reason for their success because OCPD patients can’t live without a project. When they get a project idea, they never stop or procrastinate like you. Instead, they turn into a machine! Kind of like how Jobs lived his entire life.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5, patients are obsessively occupied with the details of their goals. And they get swallowed by lists, rules, and systems. And while you tend to follow one rule and miss the other, OCPD patients have no degree of flexibility because they believe there is only one way to live life—and that’s their own way! For example, if the OCPD patient is a teacher or a preacher, they are probably morally strict. And if they are a businessman or an entrepreneur, they might get involved in immoral or unprofessional behaviors. They don’t necessarily find these things to be unprofessional or immoral. They just want things to be done their way. An annoying micromanager who sticks his nose everywhere.
Steve Jobs was almost a human computer, and he dedicated his time and thought to anything he concentrated on. Of course, success, fame, and accomplishments are things that make us want to be like Steve Jobs. But, be careful! If you want to be like Steve Jobs, you have to take the disorder's problems as well. "What problems?" Every time the results of your project are a bit lower than your expectations, OCPD patients spiral downwards into a loop of depression and an increased obsession with perfection, and it can have the opposite effect!
That’s what happened with Jobs in 1985 when they forced him to leave Apple, so he made a new company called NeXT. Of course, his one and only goal was to make the best personal computer ever in history. But, due to his interference in every little detail, the computer was launched many years later. The final result was indeed a masterpiece of engineering, something we have never seen before! A great invention! But, at the time in 1985, it cost 6500$!
Seeking perfection too much can destroy the projects of a person with OCPD. You want things to be perfect. And also, OCPD destroys the patient's relationships with other people. On one hand, because the patient is obsessed with his work, he is devoted to his job, which destroys his personal relationships and friendships. And on the other hand, he also expects perfection out of his relationships.
In her book Small Fry, Jobs' daughter Lisa said that if you are a person who is used to controlling everything and succeeding in everything, and suddenly, you have something that you can’t succeed in—which is being a loving father and having children who love you—it would be hard not to kick it out of your life. And Elon Musk has a similar problem. If you are Steve Jobs' daughter, you would probably expect a very rich lifestyle. At least no one will ask you: "Why did you order this? Pay for it yourself." Or "Who ordered this?" because he will pay for it either way.
Lisa told us how she stayed in a room that her father refused to fix the heating of, or even fix the dishwasher. Can you imagine? You are Steve Jobs' daughter! The founder of Apple! Which is the biggest, or second biggest company in the world today. And she asked him when she was only 9 years old if she could take his Porsche car after he is done using it, like any kid who wants something that looks cool. Instead of going along with it and saying: "When you grow up, I will give it to you," he told her: "You are getting nothing."
These actions will tell that you are dealing with an extremely cheap person, meanwhile these are obvious symptoms of OCPD where patients have a hard time getting rid of things after using them, even if it has no sentimental value. They are not only cheap to others, but also themselves, because they believe that money should be protected in case something bad happens.
In all the stories about the brilliance of Steve Jobs, many don’t mention this side of him. In our current culture, my friend, there are rewards for people who have obsessive-compulsive behavior. According to Gary Trosclair in his book The Healthy Compulsive, one of the things that make it difficult for people with OCPD to be treated is that it is one of the most acceptable disorders to have in history.
Imagine as a manager, someone like that applies to work for you. Someone who reviews everything, does everything, makes sure it’s all good, and always follows, concentrated, and focused, and doesn’t spend money on stupid things. You will think he’s excellent! "He’s not ill, we are! People who go on vacations are ill! People who want a break are ill! I accept you! Don’t ever go to therapy ever!"
A person who has OCPD in today’s society gets promoted and earns social status and money! How can you convince someone who keeps getting promoted, getting money, inventing products, and succeeding that he is mentally ill and needs therapy? And how can you be sure that he will still have all that after treatment?
Actually, my friend, OCD is a spectrum. Some people have it really bad. They seek perfection and get depressed when they don’t reach it, which often leads to them failing their projects. And some people have a very attention to detail which, one way or another, helps them at their jobs and makes them more successful. Some scientists suggest that in order to understand these differences, we need to go back to how they were raised.
The first cause of OCPD, my friend, might be out of your hands. You didn’t just decide to pay attention to details. No, it probably goes back to your parents, and sometimes your genes as well, which is according to many studies. For example, in some studies on twins in Sweden specifically—"What? Why Sweden?" Because they have a twin registry that makes it easier to study them. So, it helps us as scientists study them easily. Especially when we study twins that have separated at a young age and were therefore raised in different environments.
In that case, if OCPD still exists, then it’s genes, not environment. Studies found that specific features like ambition, drive, and an immense pressure to work and accomplish are most likely genetic features, and that was confirmed by a study for Nancy Pedersen in 1989, who said that a percentage between 27% to 78% of obsessive compulsions are genetic behaviors.
We also discover that it’s not just one gene. It is a group of multiple different genes, and they don’t all express themselves the same way. So, you can have genes that cause OCPD, but they don’t express themselves, you get me? Epigenetics. Or we could also see these genes mutate and change. "So, everyone’s genes are different. That way I can’t be Steve Jobs! The only gene I have in common with him is baldness."
My friend, OCPD genes are not necessarily a final misery sentence. Remember, we are talking about personality as a whole. And personalities are more than just genes. Simply because humans aren’t born into nothingness. That’s when environment comes along. If his parents gave him conditional love related to certain achievements, a person with these genes would start experiencing obsessions. "I need to act to be loved."
Also, according to a study titled Perceptions of Parental Bonding, even having two controlling parents doesn’t necessarily lead to OCPD if their relationship to the child is strong enough. If we look at Steve Jobs for example, we will find that his relationship with his biological parents was bad. Both of his parents gave him up for adoption. As a child, he was unwillingly put in that situation. The first message he got from the world by the most important people to him was that he was unwanted and dispensable, and they must get rid of him. Maybe that’s what turned him into who he was. As if all these accomplishments and attention to detail was an attempt to gain love.
And an environment isn’t just parents. It’s also peers, friends, relatives, and colleagues who could lead these people to the same thing through bullying. Of course, it’s important to tell you that not everyone with those genes who were in harsh environments with harsh parents and who got bullied by their community will turn out this way. For example, some of them can turn into a people-pleasing dependent personality. They are usually nice and can’t say no. They can’t put boundaries with people, because they always have to please them, so you could have the opposite personality. Not everyone will be the same, just because they have those genes and were raised by those parents.
Let me tell you something strange. OCPD in comparison to other personality disorders is the most treatable disorder, either through medication or otherwise. But, if good qualities like ambition and the desire for perfection were utilized in their therapy, they get better quicker. So, if they felt incomplete, and they need to work on themselves to be closer to perfection, they will be effectively treated. So, they are good patients if they follow the rules and recognize that they are ill.
However, the real problem with OCPD is that it becomes a part of the patients. It becomes their only way to refill an old gap. The psychologist George Weinberg says that obsessive behaviors persist because the patient continues to establish them, like trying to better your image in your own eyes through your achievements. Here, you are feeding the disorder by thinking you need to prove your worth, instead of you being enough. With time, this can turn into a huge problem. You turn into an achievements-addict. You live on achievements that get you to your next one, which of course needs to be bigger than the previous. And the cycle goes on.
With time, this turns into an addiction of achievements. You achieve something, then you try to do it again and feel nothing. So, you have to do a bigger achievement. Over time, you continue to achieve things with each one bigger than the other, and turn into an addict. Just to live normally and basically, you need to always be achieving. Not to be happy, you won’t be happy with all that, but just to make your anxiety less. You turn into an addict, like people who drink coffee! Each time they drink coffee, they can no longer concentrate the way they used to. So just to be a normal everyday person, they need to drink coffee. That’s the same.
According to a research in 2010 titled Introductions to Behavioral Addictions, any behavior you do due to a psychological urge could slowly change the way the nervous system works, or what is known as the reward system in your nervous system. That’s when you will continue to do the same behavior over and over again so that each time, you can feel the endorphins that make you happy. These endorphins are substances that increase happiness and decrease pain. So, when people who have OCPD find themselves worried and anxious, they go to work, or check what stuff they have to do, and finish their tasks and feel a bit better. So, endorphins levels increase, because the anxiety they had went down a bit. However, as soon as these endorphins drop, they are attacked by feelings of anxiety, emptiness, and wanting more.
OCPD patients believe that this is how the world is. This cycle that happens and feeling unsatisfied with themselves unless through their accomplishments, which again doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. They think that this is the world and this is how everyone else feels, not that they are different. Because these people became workaholics, and their lives became devoted towards the next achievement, they neglect their social relationships. They neglect their feelings. So, when someone like Steve Jobs abandoned his daughter, it is a phenomenon in psychology we call experiential avoidance.
That’s why psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich describes OCPD patients as living machines. Over time, they turn into people without emotions, like the Terminator. Which drives them to the point of burnout where they can no longer work, and no longer think. And sometimes, they experience a severe depressive episode. And sometimes, they might experience catatonia. And of course, all of these conditions and ingredients could lead someone to suicide. Because he can’t achieve perfection, and not achieving perfection could lead to severe depression, which could unfortunately lead to him ending his life.
In psychology, we have something called traits. These are personal traits like an organized person. These traits aren’t really a problem, kind of like a knife. You can use it to cut fruit, or peel a potato, but it can also be a weapon to hurt yourself, or others. If we summarize OCPD in one word, it would be wanting to control the world. But, the single trait is not inherently evil, or good. What matters is the method and how far are we willing to go.
